PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
