So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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