I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
