a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
