That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
