What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
