For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
party gras won. party gras always wins.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
