How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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