She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize