I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
