So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
