in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
