she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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