Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
