He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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