He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
