Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
