The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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