Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
