Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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