What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
