Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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