I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
