I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
