One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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