did you get engaged???
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
