What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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