I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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