I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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