There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
