i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
