I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she woke up with a sticky ear
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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