I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
