Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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