I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
