I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
third nipple confirmed
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
