u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
