This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
