i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize