I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
