it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
