TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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