That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
