I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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