Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
