just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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