If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
No subtext here. People are naked.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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