He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
