i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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