I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
