rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize