Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
