Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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