Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
