Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
