Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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