1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
