NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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