She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
