so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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