My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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