I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
third nipple confirmed
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
