what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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