i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You have to summon your inner elephant
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
