i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
