office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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