How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
