My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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