Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Houston, we have a blender
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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