my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
