Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She bit a glass in half.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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