if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
