think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
