god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
