he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize